I have written a thousand posts since my last. It feels like that. I’ve had so many words in my head, but was not able to write them down. So now, I’m here.
The past week is a blur of little sleep, one day of a lot of sleep (13 hours), back to little sleep…I’m not sure why this is. So hard for me to sleep lately, even when I try. I’m getting frustrated because then, during the day, I can’t focus on what I want to do. Everything is dull and fuzzy.
We were warned of a huge impending storm yesterday. Gloom and doom. I spent 3 hours taking down summer things, plants, tarps, umbrella, etc…and putting them in safe places, the garage, the shed. H had to cancel a big outdoor party at work. Baseball size hail, they said. 75 mph winds, they said.
We got a brief rain shower.
Meteorologists are full of sh*t.
Some people DID get hail and winds, but that was much farther south. I’m not disappointed we didn’t get slammed. I’m just tired of weather hype.
This is a big reason why tornado season is a spectator sport here. No one believes the weatherman until they see funnel clouds on the horizon for themselves. And, who wants to be cooped up in the cellar when you could be out there watching the action?
Anyway, this isn’t at all what I had imagined talking about. We had a computer death, so lots of things are LOST. Don’t know if I’ll get them back. The new computer is SLOW. I think this is the third computer crash this year, way too many, so I’m feeling frustrated over this, too. Having to start over.
I avoided computer work for several days and decided to try my hand at something new (to me.) Dyeing.
I’ve always avoided dyeing if I could. I’ve dabbled, but only just. This time I jumped in with both feet. Most things turned out pretty well, especially since they were mainly experimental. But then there were THESE.
Is this shibori? I don’t know. I’m going to call it Clothespinori. Wooden clothespins made this happen. I feel like I’ve finally found something I can DO. At least in the dyeing arena. And I know this is probably old hat to many people, but it’s NEW to me. And I love seeing the patterns that emerge when I unfold the cloth. I never know what it’s going to look like.
So far I’ve dyed about 25 good size pieces, all done on plain broadcloth and a bit of quilting fabric. I’ve had these fabrics for years, just sitting in a box. I’m really happy to be giving them new life. And they are so much more beautiful in person. The camera does not do the colors and patterns justice.
Before I sat down to write I was thinking more about this process of creating. I have many needle art skills under my belt: embroidery, needle tatting, sewing, beadwork, crazy quilting, crochet…I have a lot of experience. And now I’m learning more about quilting and dyeing. And I’m trying to get better at drawing. How do I tie it all together and come up with something that is uniquely mine? This is so hard for me. In the past, creating has largely been about looking at something outside and bringing it in. But, what is on the inside?
I have some memories I want to share on this topic of art and creating, but not now. Sometime later.
What I was thinking was this…creating is about finding the Beauty within. Then expressing it outwardly.
Maybe right now the beauty I’m finding within is in these simple dyed cloths. Maybe I will learn, over time, to express through thread and cloth what beauty is inside me.
I was having a very rough day when I started dyeing. These pieces began from trial and error. I really know next to nothing about dyeing or what anyone else is doing. It’s on my list of to-learns. But, I looked at those wooden clothespins and thought I bet those would create a great resist. And they did.
I listened to Chris Stapleton a lot while I worked. I like his music and, after a while, the dark blah I was feeling started to lift a bit. I really like this song.
Earlier, when I was out gathering flower seeds so they wouldn’t get blown away I saw HER.
She looked at me when I said hello.
She was up there in the tangle of morning glory and Japanese sweet pea vines.
I think this is how I feel a lot, surrounded by a tangle of threads and fabrics, wondering where to begin, how do I find myself in this?
In the meantime, I will continue to dye what works…
…and work on my inner and outer vision…