Remembering Point Zero…

Today my thoughts were fairly hung up on one particular subject…friends, or my lack thereof.

20171206_123015As I have gotten older, I have found it more challenging to maintain friendships, let alone forge new ones. Sure, I have people I’ve known for years, but we’ve grown apart and don’t see each other much at all. As a result, my existence of late has been fairly bankrupt in the friend department.

I have identified several causes of this phenomenon including…

Living in a very conservative, small town…

Not having a job that gets me out and about meeting people…

Not having kids which might force me to interact with others more…

Growing apart and finding it difficult to relate to others giving the differences in our experiences…

Anyway, I was brooding about this today when I remembered, thanks to a blog post written by someone in Australia, I needed to come back to Point Zero, a place of non-reaction and observing. A place where you recognize you can’t control the circumstances around you, but you can control how you react, think and feel about them. The post left me feeling much more calm and content. Here is the link if you’d like to read it.



The truth is, over the years, being a fairly shy person (with a fair number of issues) I have learned to enjoy my own company. I grew up with a brother who was cruel, so being alone was always way better than being around him. Plus, I grew up on an isolated farm far from town, so I rarely ever had anyone to play with. It was certainly a recipe for loneliness and learning to be independent.

As a result, I spent a lot of time making things and learning about stitching. It was a past time I pursued most of my life, always coming back to it after I had put it down for a while. These days I have the luxury of time and solitude so I can continue those pursuits.

20180131_140128Growing up on that farm, all my friends lived far away, so I learned to write letters. I wrote lots and lots of letters. We didn’t have email and computers back in those days. Even the phone was off limits, as every call I would make if I could make them was long distance and cost my parents too much $$$.


Going solo as an adult does get a bit tedious sometimes, as H works a lot, and I wonder how much longer I can keep up such a lonely existence. I’m not sure I have much alternative, as the few friendships I have tried to make over the past few years, a lot of them online, don’t seem to go anywhere. As it turns out, the Interwebs can be just as lonely as real life.

Perhaps I am too different, not interesting, lacking in shared experience and, of course, too weird. Maybe I just don’t like or even understand a lot of people these days. I certainly don’t participate in a lot of their beliefs. And, it would be fair to say I lack patience.


I’m not perfect and don’t claim to be. It has always taken me a long time to build friendships, but I keep trying. I have always been content with having one really good friend. And I certainly have that in H. We always have such a good time together, even when we are just hanging around the house, grocery shopping, or playing cards. We are each other’s favorite person, and we are largely content to spend all our spare time together. For this I am very grateful.

Over the years, we have discovered a number of couples whose norm is to avoid spending time together at all costs, which always seems weird to us. And we constantly run into families in public who are always fighting and children who are always crying and screaming, so maybe togetherness isn’t all it’s cracked up to be?


Maybe someday I will have more friends again. In the meantime, I’ll keep stitching and making do with my life-as is. The cats are very good friends to me. And lately I’ve been hanging out with Doctor Who. It really is a good life.















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